Feed that baby

Last night, Chris joined us at the dinner table for the first time in his high chair. He's not ready for solids yet, because he isn't sitting up unassisted and hasn't reached 6 mos. He's been ready for the social aspect of dinner for awhile though and often spends the meal sitting on Jim's lap. He is perfectly content to gnaw on a spoon for the time being.

I have had to put more thought into feeding this baby than either of my other two. Breastfeeding was something I took for granted. Easy, convenient, and full of health and other benefits.

Chris didn't get a chance to nurse at birth, instead he was whisked down the hall for a month long NICU stay. I thought for sure that we would figure it out when we were home. After all, he was nursing occasionally once he was transferred to the special care unit, and I had already successfully nursed two babies.

Was I ever wrong...he will be turning 5 mos old and aside from a few promising days, he has treated my open shirt like something to be feared. I have worked with a lactation consultant, a La Leche League leader, and tried every trick I could find online. He will just. not. breastfeed.

I can't say I blame him, the bottle is a lot less work(for him). As for me, I refuse to give up. I am determined to feed him breastmilk for at least his first year, and as long as I am making milk, I refuse to give up the hope that he may one day latch on.

In the beginning, the thought of pumping milk long term made me want to scream, but I've since resigned myself to the fact that I just don't have that many options, so I have to deal with it. As my husband would say "It is what it is". If he will not nurse, and I will not turn to formula if I am capable of producing something so much better(not to mention free), then pumping it is.

I have found that there is a lot of misinformation about pumping and milk supply in general. It isn't something I ever thought much about. My babies were hungry, they nursed, they had enough milk. I didn't know how much they were getting, only that they were thriving so it was obviously enough.

With Christopher, the rules have changed. I really wish I had been more informed when I first began doing this. I have had enough milk to not need to supplement, but I'm dipping into my freezer stash to get by. He will be one of the lucky minority that are still receiving breastmilk exclusively at 6 months. If I had realized the importance of building my supply in the crucial first months, I would have made frequent pumps a larger priority, even with traveling back and forth to the hospital. I thought everything would just work out once he started breastfeeding, but that was not to be the case.

I realize there are people who choose to pump instead of breastfeed, for whatever reason. I would never choose this, and I would never recommend it. But, I think the nurses/staff/lactation counselors in the hospitals need to have more information available for mom's that want to/need to pump milk for their babies.

There is a wealth of information on the ivillage group Exclusively Pumping and of course, my favorite site, Kellymom, has info too. Here's hoping you never need it.